If your boss is stupid, why is he/she still your boss?

smallhead BIGWISDOM

Rising your being

Day by day, I hear people expressing their dissatisfaction with their bosses for one or another reason.

For example, some of the most supposedly incorrectness of managers, are:

  • My boss tries to micromanage
  • He/she doesn’t know what’s doing
  • She/he is despotic
  • My boss is always late
  • My manager is stingy
  • She/he pretends to know everything
  • My boss is stupid

 

Despite those claims may be correct sometimes, it is also true that your boss has got that position for a fair reason. I can hardly believe people achieve things because of luck, randomness or uncontrollable course of actions.

There is a series of events behind each person that we don’t know and perhaps will never know. Some have mastered the ability to simulate their conditions while deep inside there might be a pile of conflicts, resentment, depression, anguish or another affliction.

So, why do you criticize your boss?

Have you ever thought that what you feel about your manager is because of you and only you?

“It’s impossible”, you could say. Well, let me elaborate more.

Many times, when I enter a meeting room with various people, I can sense a kind of “energy” in the environment. That sensation could be harmonious, tense, cold, receptive or just monotonous.

But do you know why? Simply because that’s the way I feel myself!

Wow!

For some, it is a new discovery. Well, in fact, it isn’t. There is a lot of scientific research about telepathy, the power of thought, extra sensorial perception and the like. So, I have proved myself that what I give I receive, and this is perfectly applicable to all people and therefore to our “beloved” bosses.

Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying that all bosses are impeccable and never have crises of inadequate, incorrect, obnoxious, or deplorable behavior. No. I have also experienced the other side of the coin (the most painful one). What I want to make clear is those hard situations can be controlled by you. Let me share what I have effectively done.

With my first boss I didn’t get along well, I started to think positively about my boss. At the beginning, it was difficult because the facts were showing me the opposite. It seemed my boss had planned to give me hard time. But after I mentally repeated many times, “My boss is an excellent person and always tries to help me”. I don’t remember exactly how many times I did this daily, but what I can recall for sure is that I was applying the key factors of visualization and the firm belief that things will improve. Gradually, I started to see the change, and after around a month, it was like magic: My boss has transformed himself in my favor! But I realized I had to change myself first in order to trigger his amazing transformation.

 

If quitting your job is not an option, then, there is one alternative left: Changing yourself in order to change others.

Bottom line

Nobody makes mistakes on purpose unless there is a mental disease or personality disorder. So, with that being said and before you start complaining or criticizing your boss, think differently and consider if it is your fault, so that way it’s much easier to solve the problem because people only change when we change first.

If that’s not enough and you still think your boss is stupid, I wonder, why is he/she still your manager?

If you have some experiences or opinions in this regard, please share them on the comments below, so we can all learn from each other.

 

  • Do you have problems with your boss?
  • How have you resolved issues with your manager?
  • Are you a boss? How do you handle difficult employees?
  • In your opinion, why do people complain about their managers?

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Many say What but few say How

smallhead BIGWISDOM

Rising your being

Whatever I am writing here is part of my own experience and that from many people I have read from or interacted directly with.

 

  • Do you sometimes feel like somebody who tries and retries but things don’t seem to change?
  • Do you often consider yourself as an unlucky person?
  • Are there moments in which you don’t know why your plans render totally unexpected results?
  • Do you recurrently think that other people are happier than you?

 

 

Well, if you answered yes to any of the above questions, it means you are a human being and are still alive on this planet; on the contrary, if you answered No to all the previous questions, it means you are a human being, are still alive on this planet but are freaking lying!

The reason is simple: Facing problems, feeling discouraged, confused, hopeless, pessimistic or depressed are just inherent to all of us, as human beings, at certain points of our lives; the difference is that some find the way to manage those feelings and turn them upside-down to take advantage for achieving more.

So, a question may be: “Is it easy to take advantage of those feelings?”

The answer is easy: “No”.

I have read quite a lot about the problems that people have or might have, as well as what to do or what not to do in different facets of our lives; I consider this information very fruitful in terms of helping us to identify our perils or weaknesses.

However, it’s less common to find practical techniques that focus exclusively in explaining how we can solve our problems or achieve our goals regardless of the circumstances we may have.

Now, I’m going to describe a technique that I first read on the book The Magic of Believing by Claude M. Bristol and it’s been shared in other publications as well. This is called “The Mirror technique”.

 

 

Before moving forward, I would like to highlight that we must believe in something and then take actions to experience it ourselves. This is exactly what I did with the “The Mirror technique”. Based on the directions of the author, I tried it myself and proved it very effective.

Here is one of many achievements I have got by using this approach:

Several years ago, I read on a website for local information about scholarships abroad and caught my attention one related to studies in Japan. Immediately, I started to take notes on the requirements and researched everything I could about Japan.

That scholarship was directed to teachers to study in Japan for 1 year about technology and education. It covered everything!

With everything I mean: Flight tickets (first class), accommodation, food, tuition, local transportation, local study trips, special cultural events and a monthly stipend for other expenses. For me, getting that scholarship was better than winning the lottery as I was financially restricted.

So, the mirror technique came to my mind. “I can use this technique to get the scholarship”, was my reflection. So, I started to take actions.

One of the hardest requirements was to know English at an intermediate level (speaking, listening, reading and writing). Before, I had been taking some English courses, so I devoted 3 hours a day to intensify the learning process and to take later an official English Language Test like IELTS or TOEFL.

It took me around 3 months intensively studying until I finally took the IELTS. What a great joy because I got a good score!

I collected all the documents required and submit the application to get the scholarship. In the meantime, I started to use the mirror technique:

Every morning, noon and night, I was doing this:

  • Standing in front of a mirror
  • Looking at myself directly to my eyes and thinking, “I am going to get the scholarship to Japan. This is wonderful, terrific and I deserve it. Thanks God for everything!”
  • For around 5 minutes, I was repeating this with a strong believe I would get it. I was visualizing the entire process of going to Japan, mentally “seeing” with complete happiness everything that I have read about Japan.
  • One factor I consider fundamental was the mental visualization I was having was tremendously intense. The more I thought and repeated this declaration, the more confident I felt
  • I followed this process religiously un-interrupted for 2 months.

After 2 months, I received the letter with the result of my application: “Thank you very much but we have chosen another candidate. We encourage you to continue applying in the future.”

For around 1 minute I felt my world had collapsed as my commitment to get it was serious. But yes! It lasted only 1 minute because I recovered, refueled myself with more energy and restarted the process.

Six months later, I applied again and was rejected for the second time; however, I wasn’t a novice anymore on receiving bad news, and therefore this “failure” didn’t affect me much as the first time.

I continued using the mirror technique with more optimism and applied for the third time to get the scholarship.

Can you guess what the letter with the results of my third application said?

Yes, I was accepted, and I traveled to Japan!

The joy experienced at that moment was inexpressible!

Since then, I have been applying the mirror technique to obtain a lot of accomplishments. The technique has worked for me and for many; therefore, it can also work for you!

Bottom line

 

If you have some experiences or opinions in this regard, please share them on the comments below, so we can all learn from each other.

  • Have you ever used the mirror technique?
  • Do you think the mirror technique is effective or luck plays a role?
  • Why do you think not many people achieve their goals?
  • What other ways to get things done do you know?

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Don’t wait for everything to enjoy your life; you have your life to enjoy everything

smallhead BIGWISDOM

Rising your being

Wow! What a universe of wisdom we can find in this quote!

Every day, we are being bombarded by colossal amount of information, especially on the Internet, so a new responsibility has emerged for everyone: We must select what is useful and ignore the rest.

It’s much easier saying it than doing it though; however, we have no other choice if our intentions are to get permanent improvement.

People, including myself, as I still consider being part of human civilization, are often in search of new things, adventures, challenges and, in brief, they are never satisfied. Being constantly unsatisfied has Pros and Cons.

 

 

One of the Pros is we can improve our way of thinking and therefore our actions which will allow us becoming persons with purpose. On the other hand, one of the Cons is the state of indecision we may enter by not having self-confidence in anything we try to execute.

All the extremes are harmful, so the ideal scenario would be to keep a balanced point where we can know when to act and when to continue planning and researching.

Have you ever noticed that it seems to be no perfect time to start something?

Usually, when a specific goal has been set, we try to wait the circumstances to “change” in a more favorable way.  The reasoning many people have before taking actions is represented with the following statements:

“I need more money”

“A better job would be the solution”

“When I get married”

“I will start in summer”

“After graduation, there would be more opportunities”

“After the economy recession which is around the corner”

And many more…

Well, let me tell you: “Don’t wait for everything to enjoy your life; you have your life to enjoy everything”.

We must take care of ourselves, family, friends and our society; nevertheless, it’s significantly ungrateful that we do not recognize the wonders existing in the simplicity. For example: A tree, rain, snow, wind, sunlight, animals, our ability to read, walk, talk, listen, and to really live and not just remain alive.

 

 

Those aspects are often taken for granted and ignored when the correct attitude would be appreciating and taking advantage of them to the maximum extend.

Don’t long for the abilities to release your potential when they are already gone! The now is the correct moment to fuel our engine intended to propel us towards our planned destinations.

It’s enough!

Don’t procrastinate more to start living the life that we all are supposed to enjoy, and don’t wait that others start pushing you or even worse, that others carry out your duties. The precise moment is now, and the executor must be you. Otherwise, intensively painful regret would be the inevitable consequence.

I wonder why people complain about trivialities?

The more you complain the worse your conditions become! It seems simple understanding and trying to change this, but in fact, we need help to escape from the mundane activities of the negativism constantly unfolded in our paths.

Problems should not be seen as a burden but as a conventional part of our existence. You don’t need to think about problems; you don’t need to look for problems because they will always come anyway. What we need to do is to get the proper training to face them effectively, with patience, courage and imperishable persistence. Obtaining this attitude is a habit that must be cultivated day after day.

Your life is a temporary priceless gem! So, it’s wise to appreciate it immeasurably right now before regret takes control over us and there are no more opportunities for a second attempt.

Bottom line

 

If you have some experiences or opinions in this regard, please share them on the comments below, so we can all learn from each other.

 

  • Do you feel entirely happy?
  • Are you actually living or just looking at time passing?
  • What’s the right moment for you to start doing something?
  • If we all have 24 hours a day, why do you think people say, “I have no time”?

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Why do people wear clothes?

smallhead BIGWISDOM

Rising your being

There are several reasons for which people wear clothes.

First, historically, primitives started to wear a sort of, I would say, the initial versions of the modern clothes to protect themselves from weather conditions: Either cold, windy or very hot days.

Second, through the evolution process of humanity, individuals adopted clothes for comfortability when sitting or performing some tasks.

Third, to comply with social codes.

Fourth, for vanity, as an adornment to make an impact on others, persuade and accomplish some goals.

In my opinion, the first and the second reasons are necessary and therefore totally valid. So, let’s concentrate on the third and fourth in one shot.

 

 

By nature, human beings are social creatures that need permanent interaction with others, to grow, evolve, improve, and find a sense of purpose in life; that implies, we must follow certain rules set by society in order to have harmonious coexistence.

I agree with the establishment of guidelines for effective interaction; however, what I consider vain and sometimes ‘foolish’ is the behavior of people having a conceited life, based on materialism of unacceptably expensive pieces of garment they wear just for the sake of impressing others by hiding their fragile personalities.

One typical example I had to sadly experience at my work place (now, I don’t as I quit) was the “rule” of wearing ties or “business attire” for special occasions.

Why the heck do I need to pretend something I don’t feel comfortable with?

As a human, does the other person wearing an elegant and expensive suit have more value than me? The answer should be no, but the reality shows the opposite.

It’s paradoxical and un-acceptable that we usually please strangers more than our family. We don’t argue with our boss, colleagues or business partners for obvious reasons: we will lose their trust and any kind of relationship. And one way to show we care about them is wearing something different of what we wear at home.

So, why don’t we always treat our beloved relatives with superior respect, consideration and affection? Why don’t show them that special treatment by wearing at home the same clothes we wear at work?

Because it’s very uncomfortable! I don’t it and will never do it. But what I think we can do is stop pretending being a completely different person outside your house. We can just be authentic, wearing clean clothes and some expensive if you can afford paying from your own money and not through loans. And this a key aspect.

It’s absurd to get debts to buy articles you don’t actually need but feel a kind of social pressure to fit into a special social status. This is what I called a degraded capitalism. Fortunately, in some sectors, this tendency is changing, and now more importance is being giving to moral values and charismatic personalities. 

 

 

I remember an anecdote in a previous job where I have been working for 3 years. Since there was a vacancy for a better position, I decided to apply. It was in the same department and with the same manager. Despite it was an informal promotion, I had to follow the HR standard process. I was fine with that; however, when my manager told me: “You have to attend an interview with me just as another job application and of course you have to wait suit and tie.” I was reluctantly fine with the interview and it really shocked me the flummery of wearing special clothes for these reasons:

  • The standard policy requires people to wear casual clothes
  • It was an informal interview
  • The manager never wore anything close to what he was demanded

In order to keep my job, I did what the manager said, and attended punctually, but there was no interview whatsoever, as he cleared stated: “This is just to pretend a formal process.” He just talked about personal matters.

I told myself: “I’m the only responsible of this absurdity.” But the straw that broke the camel’s back was the demand for me to wear suit and tie. Therefore, I just waited three months before resigning.

I feel sorry for those people who cannot afford quitting their jobs just because of family commitments.

Judging people for the clothes they wear doesn’t resonate in me at all. We should devote our time and efforts to identify the abilities that everyone for sure has.

 

Bottom line

 

If you have some experiences or opinions in this regard, please share them on the comments below, so we can all learn from each other.

 

  • Do you think wearing special clothes should matter nowadays?
  • Does this topic apply equally to women and me?
  • Are you another victim of a materialistic society?
  • How do you deal with your kids regarding fashion?
  • Have you ever thought about a massively ‘naked’ world in summer?

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Working is not the same than being busy

smallhead BIGWISDOM

Rising your being

 

In this consumerism society, it’s easy to get trapped in trivial activities that are helping little or not helping at all on the plans to achieve our goals.

It’s clear that there are two main reasons for people to work: satisfy their needs and for enjoyment.

 

Satisfy their needs

 

We all need to eat, have a shelter, and wear clothes, as the 3 basic needs; however, this is only to survive, to remain alive: Just breathing! So, is this the purpose of living? The answer is obviously no!

Here is where satisfying the other needs plays its role. We also need to care for our health, exercise, travel, share precious moments with family and friends, study, support charitable initiatives, buy some fancy stuff for our family (and many people also buy what they don’t need to show off to people they don’t even know), and many other needs that humans are constantly trying to satisfy.

 

 

So, how to satisfy our needs? Well, it’s quite simple: Working!

The easiest way is to find a fixed job (normally 9 to 5), following a schedule, receiving orders from a boss (even if you don’t agree you have to obey), receiving a fixed salary, doing routine tasks and letting the days to pass without hope for changes.

This scenario is applicable for many people around the world. But what to do?

Well, nothing will change automatically, overnight or by magic. You have to make the changes, nobody else!

When I talk to friends and acquaintances, some of them provide this reasoning for not quitting their fixed jobs:

  • I have a family to feed
  • My children must go to university
  • I have to pay my mortgage
  • I would like to travel, so money is needed
  • I am not happy but have no other options
  • It’s hard to find another job
  • This is better than nothing

 

 

 

Undoubtedly, those are valid reasons and that’s why there are many individuals who consider this situation is the perfect representation of their realities.

It’s not an easy task and we all need assistance from others who have lived the same situation but were able to change it. I was one of them and wanted to share my perspective.

Some tips I have effectively punt into practice are:

 

  • If you cannot quit your job now, try to enjoy it as much as possible by changing your way of thinking. Be grateful for your current job!
  • Don’t complaint for anything! I think we have the right to disagree about something but complaining is not the solution. When somebody makes us uncomfortable, try to analyze why this person is behaving in such a way and you will find a sort of relief to address the issue. Remember that only mentally-perturbed people cause damage to others on purpose.
  • Wake up by thanking for your what you have: Your health, family, the ability to seize a new day and many other wonders
  • Plan the shift. Start reading more, learn a new skill, learn from others because we see what we want to see

Most of us spend our time being busy and proudly state, “we are working!” when in fact we are just being occupied by carrying out monotonous tasks that we don’t enjoy but have to do because of “necessity”.

As mentioned before, this is not going to happen overnight. You need to carefully assess if you are eager to make drastic changes to your rooted ineffective habits and to start a new life. The key is to use our time wisely as spending 8 hours in an office doesn’t say much about our progress if we don’t enjoy what we do. Conversely, we can spend 3 hours to do activities that indeed nurturing our real goals.

 

For enjoyment

 

Once we are engaged in activities that take most of our time but with extreme delight, we can work with enjoyment. That necessarily implies our basic needs are totally satisfied and therefore, we can devote our endeavors to explore new adventures that allow us finding purpose in life.

Despite only few people have reached this status, that possibility exists out there for us to grab it as well. It entirely depends on us, by making a firm decision, create a definite plan, take actions to transform it into concrete facts and acquire an invulnerable shell to protect ourselves from all the vicissitudes inherent to this process of achieving enjoyment, and that we have to overcome with paramount resilience.

 

Bottom line

 

The ultimate goal is to be able to say, “I’m actually enjoying working”.

 

If you have some experiences or opinions in this regard, please share them on the comments below, so we can all learn from each other.

 

  • Do you feel confident to say, “I’m actually enjoying working?”
  • Why do you have a fixed Job?
  • Do you feel satisfied with your job?
  • Are you busy or working?
  • How do you deal with monotony at your work place?

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